and i bought a harmonica, and that has been taking up time, too.

Over the past few days, I have received a veritable FLURRY of emails (re: no i didn't) regarding my absence from the blog, and well as many concerned questions. Dear Readers, (i quoth Dear Abby, a fundamental feature of my childhood), I shall answer these (imaginary) questions to put your minds at ease.

Q. Where have you been? have you become horribly disfigured in some sort of freak logging accident, rendering you so hideous and/or depressed that you can't even be bothered to write a valid blog?

A: Yes. That's exactly right. There was a freak accident involving sheep shearing, and i lost a limb. Luckily, I have received the highest quality of innovative Slovak medical assistance, and after seven surgeries, they have replaced my left arm with a garden hose. However, i have had to relearn to type by pure blunt force, as a metal nozzle has replaced all the fingers on that hand.

Q. Very Funny, Sara. I am literally rolling on the floor laughing. What's really been going on?

A. Gentle Reader, did you know that "the kids" these days have an acronym, ROFL, for that VERY PHRASE? You have to keep up with the times.

but in answer to your question, let's see...
1. Levoca, of course, which occupied several days of last week. Here are some pictures, as i didn't give you any last time. but you've been patient. You deserve them.

a) Spis! (pronounced Spish!) Castle:


b) Lovely levoca


c)me, getting all stone-carv-y on your ass



2. Easter! In normal-people world (re: America) Easter means, basically, a little church, a nice meal, and a lot of chocolate, followed by a day off from work. In Slovakia, however, Easter takes place over about five days, with lots and lots and LOTS of church, and lots of NOTHING BEING OPEN. LIKE AT ALL. are you hungry? then you BETTER HAVE PURCHASED FOOD LIKE FIVE DAYS AGO BECAUSE NOTHING IS OPEN. and to everyone thinking, "really? not even 7-11's?" i just laugh. And then i cry. but then i laugh again. The average grocery store in svaty jur (of which there are about 5) is wayyyyyyy smaller than a 7-11. (oh and they close at six or seven on weekdays, and noon on saturdays.)
But i do have to say, the pubs were open.

3. Banska Bystrica. On Wednesday, our friend Andre, who works for a building materials supply company, invited me to a event given by his company for their customers. It was held at a mountain-top ski lodge outside of Banska Bystrica, in Central Slovakia. The mountain was part of the Vel'ke Fatras. (um, "big fatras")




In comparison, Svaty Jur is in the Male Carpathians ("Small Carpathians"),



and Levoca is in the High Tatras ("High Tatras").



SO ANYWAY.
There were two other boys besides for Andre who spoke english, and one man about sixty years old who decided to get drunk and amuse himself by saying slanderous things about me that i couldn't understand. After about a bottle of red wine (SO not my fault, you know how it is when companies pay for things? it was the return of the Never-Ending Wine Glass...but this time i wasn't pouring). So anyway, i drink about a bottle of red wine and amuse MYSELF by talking back to him, in english. and the one slovak curse i know...
Phonetically, this curse is "Doe Peach Aye" which means that is is written something like Dopiče.
On a random side note, this is a curse that is used constantly, without any ill-effect (so it seems). So i picked up on it, and figured to myself that it was just a normal word which meant something about drinking (the word for drinking is something like piče), but i kept hearing it be used in circumstances where there was no drinking of anything. So one day, I ask Vlado, "hey, Vlado, what does Dopice mean?" and yes, haha, it means
something along the lines of "go f*ck yourself"

OKAY. back to the story: So i'm telling this dude to go f*ck himself, and he's LOVING IT, and turns it into some sort of mini-comedy routine. And then the disco started and this man and i danced the polka, several times over.
So other than exchange curses with old slovak men on a slovak mountaintop, i also learned a good bit about stone and beton construction methods, and the problems facing the panelaks from the 1970's (um, WARNING. Cement and iron construction + CO2 + only superficial upkeep = COLLAPSING STRUCTURES).

Then we went to Banska Bystrica, which is a surprisingly lovely little european town. It was full of renaissance buildings, medieval fortified churches, and signs of an alternative culture. Andre later told me that there was an art school there, and i had an Ah Ha! moment. The drive there is about three hours, and on the way home we stopped at a Salaš and bought oodles of delicious, delicious sheep cheese. And a not-bad, but HORRIBLY TEXTURED beverage made from something like sheep's milk whey. What did you say? you want pictures? well, ok. BECAUSE I LOVE YOU:

a) Andre in BB



b) Nun, Policemen, and Bemused Delivery Guy in BB:





3. Have there been any sort of amusing State-Approved Pagan Festivities that you have participated in?
A: My, how funny you ask! Yes, yes there have been. For those unaware, during communism times, traditional (kind of pagan-y) festivals were encouraged, while christianity was REALLY REALLY BY FORCE NOT OKAY. So, Slovakia still has several "super fun" traditional...extravaganzas. If you want more background on this, check out my blog from October about The Dead Animals In The Square And A Really Big Pot Of Mystery Goulash Eat It it Is Free.
So on Easter Monday there was šipačka, but i may just have butchered the spelling. This is when guys take whips from forest vines, and go to the houses of basically all the girls they know, and drench them with water and then beat them with their forest stick (that sounds dirty). This is to ensure good health and beauty for the upcoming year. of course. And when it is over, girls reward boys with alcohol and snacks. SO, Vlado came over on monday and soaked milica and i with water and whacked up with his stick (snicker, snicker). check out THE ACTION:




(sorry about the fuzziness, but i DID SAY that it was an action shot. Also notice how Milica is in bed, and had clearly been sleeping prior to the beating/soaking).

And, tonight/tomorrow, we celebrate "Morena": once again, not totally sure, but it involves burning the witch of winter or something. So, we will be headed up into the hills (*)
to spend the night driving out winter, and burning effigies. Tomorrow, i imagine i will burn the witch of hangovers. By sleeping. yup.

* have i mentioned how during any sort of day off from work, including weekends, slovaks all head for the hills? I mean, i know hiking is awesome, but on any given saturday you will find more people in the forest than in the town.

4. Well, Sara, that sounds Scintillating. So what next, post-slovakia?
A. I only have 3 months more here. i can't believe it. I wish winter didn't exist, as i have been putting off most of my traveling for nicer weather. But now that it is SPRING, i still need to go to Prague, Budapest, Banska Stiavnica and Slovensky Raj - a nat'l park that means, literally, slovak heaven.
AND THEN, school will come to an end at the beginning of July, then i am flying home to South Carolina. beach, beach, movies, beer, beach, walmart, beer, beach.


and now, dear readers, it is time to go prepare for the witch burning! Kiss, Kiss.

Preservation, mountains, ghosts.

For the past almost-week, I've been in Levoča, in Eastern Slovakia. I'll post like ten thousand pictures at some point, but not until NEXT WEEK, as the library is closed friday through monday for easter. Blast! And after the PAST five days of no internet-ing! I will probably cry myself to sleep, wondering exactly what is going on in the world of facebook and perez hilton. oh, who am i kidding...i'm welling up now.
Ok. So, Levoča. Actually, first a sidenote. In order to put that thingie over the "C" i have to change the computer language settings from english to slovak, and then press like all of the extraneous letters/numbers until the right thingie comes up. Oh the difficulty! Oy the confusion!
Let's try AGAIN to write a paragraph on Levoca, shall we? (did you notice how THAT levoca lacks the thing? it is because i am lazy). We left on Sunday and drove for about six hours in Olga's trusty Renault 4. Not too exciting except that we started seeing mountains and castles just about everywhere. Most of the towns we passed in central slovakia we deemed as "depressing," due to the amount of panelaky and industry out in the middle of the countryside (which in itself was lovely. However, it was late afternoon for several hours of the day, and it had been foggy and grey, which has a way of casting a dismal light if you let it.
In Martin, we were pulled over by a police officer standing in the middle of the road. It was slightly alarming;they had also pulled over about 4 other cars and they asked Olga to go with them to their police car, parked up front. During this time i was in the car mildly panicking - i realized that i had left my passport sitting on my table at home. No worries though, we just received a ticket for about 45 dollars (1000 korunas) and carried on.
Levoca (ok, just PRETEND that thing is there, eh?) is a walleod town of 13,000 people with a town square flanked by cared-for buildings from the past seven or so centuries. It had been quite rich in the 1300s due to its positin on a trade route, which led to, well, it being a NICE TOWN.
Apparently, there is even a town ghost, she's called "The White Lady of Levoca." Although i think that this particular "ghost" is really just more of an urban legend, thinking about it was enough to give me a couple creepy dreams. I don't suggest you ask me about ghosts if you are skeptical of them, i grew up in a family that is firmly superstitious.
Every morning, we went and worked in an conservation atelier, where i realized how much i enjoy wood restoration. it's delightful.
WELL, the library is closed and won't be open for many moons, so i am off.
happy easter, y'all!

Bewilderment in Belgrade

Ah yes, where was I...ok, taking the train into Belgrade. We arrived at about six pm and were picked up at the train station by Milica's parents.

Belgrade is a big city. Not only does it have something like 2 million people, but the scale of the buildings is huge, too. and there are a ton of people. and they don't speak english, oh no, they don't.


and they use the cyrillic alphabet!


it was kind of fun, i had a handy print out with cyrillic letters and the latin equivalent, so i used that for awhile. It was especially exciting when i would sound out a word and know what it meant, for example:
which reads "skola," which means school. you can only imagine my glee.


(although for unknown reasons, i prefer to read this as (phonetic spelling) "walkoa"
alright, here's my grand tour of belgrade for you:

1. Kalamegdon. Fortress and Military Museum:


2. Market, complete with super-awesome grannies. I can't explain the fluorescent red hair, but it is a very popular color choice with the over-60 crowd. It's as if it is a secondary biological clock "time's....running...out...MUST....DYE....HAIR"



3. Nice Church. Belgrade was so big, with so many nice buildings...and yet i didn't seem to catch the name of any of them. For serious, when i am showing other people my pictures, it pretty much just sounds like, "here's a church, here's a river, this is a statue, here's a building, here's another building." Perhaps a career as a tour guide is not in my immediate future?



4. My Favorite Statue in Belgrade.



An open Letter to that sculptor:
Dear Sculptor,
REALLY? Like, really really? You thought this was the best option? Sometimes i want to do things, for instance to drink orange juice after brushing my teeth, you know, but then i THINK ABOUT IT AGAIN.
love, sara

5. A McDonald's post-kosovo independence.



Damn you, ronald mcdonald! If it weren't for you (clearly!) Kosovo would still be Serbia! No really though, in addition to attacking the american embassy two sundays ago, two mcdonald's restaurants in the center of Belgrade were burned. huh. I can say, however, that the mob-mindset was not there when i was. Everyone i spoke to was honestly nice, and no one tried to stab me in the gut for being american.

6. Me at the Something Something Tower in Zemun.




Zemun is across the river Sawa (or Danube, I TOLD YOU i couldn't keep these things straight. sight) and it is actually a lovely little part of Belgrade. When the Austro-Hungarian empire existed, Zemun was part of it. and Belgrade wasn't. But then some things happened, and now is is part of the city. With my stellar explanations, you might wonder why i didn't major in history, no?

7. Gypsy Camp by the highway





Note: the tires on the roof, the piles of trash, the highway billboard on the left hand side of the photo. Fascinating stuff..i honestly don't know what to say; i've never seen anything like this before.

Belgrade had a huge disparity between rich and poor. You had these camps, and then you had blocks of apartments, then you had mansions.

8. Novi Belgrade.



9. Having a drink and watching the sun set on beautiful lake ada.
...one of my favorite parts of belgrade.


...well, that's going to have to tide you over for now, i have to go catch the grocery store before it closes!
*smooches*

Dear Lora

i am dreadfully sorry that i haven't posted. It's a character flaw. I cried myself to sleep last night, knowing how i have disappointed you.
No really, i was away from slovakia for ten days, then i haven't been able to post since due to two reasons:
1. we moved out of the boarding house into a wee itty bitty flat in svaty jur, that currently has no internet access.
2. I got a job! I am an english teacher to a group of "advanced" english students (read: can't speak a word), which has taken up a decent amount of time over the last three days, especially since my school library only operates between the hours of 2pm and 7pm.

so yes. i am sorry. i will never, ever, EVER leave you for so long again. But now! ah ha! look, i'm back! Here to regale you with stories of wit and mirth to last you the long winter nights (read: spring).

So now i shall describe to you my Spring-Break-Balkan-Extravaganza. It all began one day, i believe it was friday. Olga, Milica, and I set off in Olga's trusty Renault 4, headed for fair Zagreb. We decided to meander our way through Hungary, and in doing so, happened upon a giant Hungarian castle! who knew. so we stopped and wandered through it and took pictures, including (but now limited to):

1. My roommate being too cool for school, plus castle:


2. The two of us recreating the statue behind:


3. Merriment in the Public Toilets.


Seriously though, when i look at this photo, i immediately start humming the tune from Three's Company. Come and knock on our door...

Many hours (and two sandwiches later), we arrived in Zagreb. We stayed with Martina in Novi Zagreb, in a development/neighborhood called Dugave (du-gah-vay):



I enjoy Zagreb lots and lots. We only stayed for a few days, really, just enough time to drink at outdoor cafes, go to the market, and eat octopus for lunch. In sequential order, of course.







We also did some dancing and some walking around a lake. I met up with my friend B, who i met when i was in Zagreb in January.
While the city has a million people, it somehow maintains a scale that makes it seem smaller. It seems very livable. In the center of town, it even reminds me of Charleston, or what Charleston could be, if it expanded by following the European model of city-building instead of American (suburbs, i am looking at you).

Anyway, Milica and I left a few days later and carried on to her hometown of Belgrade. This was only five days after the american-embassy burning "incident," so we had been monitoring the news to make sure that it wouldn't be a problem for me to go. The train from Zagreb to Belgrade was about six hours, and hot. My first impression of Serbia is that it is a very agriculturally -oriented country. The dirt is black:


in fact, it was so black that i interpreted it as having been burnt.

okay, LORA, sadly i have to go work on things like homework, and prepare lesson plans for my class (!), so i will leave the story here. Like a cliffhanger. However, i will leave you with this picture of me and milica's cousin's dog. The dog's name is also Sara :)




Next time: I learn how to read cyrillic (KIND OF), visit many floating restaurants, am fed AMAZING food (and probably gain 5 kilos in the process!), see a fortress, have a mini-breakdown, and narrowly escape death by minivan. STAY TUNED!